Mistakes
by bipping
Summary: "But a mistake was made. It will never be undone. I will regret it until my dying day. Just as I will regret never telling you that I...that I loved you." PrusAus oneshot.


**Author's Note: **

It appears that once again I'm uploading a rondom one-shot and failing at writing an author's note. Again, none of the characters belong to me. All characters mentioned belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, who isn't me. Apologies in advance for poor spelling and grammar, and general suckiness of the one-shot; I may or may not be tackling a severe case of writer's block**. **There's some general awfulness that I'm really not pleased with, but hey, nothing's ever perfect. This was written for someone who's nearly as awesome as Prussia (and you know who you are), and does feature a very unpleasant word that may or may not begin with "F" towards the end, purely because it felt like a more likely word to be said by Prussia.

Also, although I have been reading "_Germany: The Third Reich 1933-45_" by Geoff Layton ( very informative book, if you ever want to look into that time period. I recommend it), I haven't actually learnt anything about the division of Germany and stuff, except that Russia invaded Prussia, and after the war some of Prussia became East Germany and some of it became some other countries, and I'm not even sure if that's true, so I apologise for the inaccurate portrayal of history, because Austria may or may not have been able to stop whatever actually happened.

Finally, if you read my first one-shot and reviewed it, and are now reading this one, I want to thank you for those reviews. I highly doubted anyone would actually read them, but you did, and you appeared to like them. Thanks for that. Now, I'm going to stop wasting you time with this ridiculously long a/n and let you actually read the story.

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><p>Just as he'd suspected, that little prissy boy was playing his stupid piano.<p>

Didn't he have anything better to do? Like run a country?

If he was still recognised as a country, he knew that that was what he'd be doing. He'd be assembling his armies, preparing them, making them stronger. He'd be dealing with the issues of his country, making sure that all his subjects were as awesome as he was.

Red eyes gleaming, Prussia continued to stare at Austria. He hated everything about that stupid country. He hated the way he lost himself in music. He hated the way he spoke in an accent more refined than him. He hated how Austria looked down in him with those violet eyes that hid behind half framed lenses. He hated how Austria's hatred for Prussia had caused one strand of his dark hair to curl upwards in an adorable kink that he seemed unable to straighten.

Actually, Prussia didn't hate any of these things. He just wanted it to appear that way. Austria had made his feelings very clear. Prussia intended never to do the same. If the other country wished to hate him, then he would just have to return his hate. He'd just have to lie. He was awesome enough to do that.

No other country would ever see past the wall of awesomeness he'd built up to hide his most awesome part of all - his heart.

He continued to watch the pianist through his window. He didn't think he was invading Austria's privacy. He had the right to be there. He had the right to watch him. He was Prussia: ruler of all that was awesome! He wasn't going to let something like morals stand in his way!

Austria stopped playing suddenly. He stood up and turned in the direction of the door. Prussia couldn't see who was standing in the doorway, but Austria appeared to be speaking to them. He bet it was that frying pan witch. Oh, he hated her. She was nowhere near as awesome as him, and yet Austria, HIS Austria, always seemed to prefer her. He hated her.

Also, she had forced him to fight her battles, and then beat him up when they were younger, which sucked.

Austria nodded, and then resumed his piano playing. Prussia wished he'd open the window. It had been far too long since he'd heard Austria play the piano. He remembered it was awesome.

Almost as if he realised Prussia was outside, willing him to open it, Austria walked over to the window. He pushed up the sleeves of his dark blue jacket, and flicked the locks on the window pane. He grabbed the bottom of the glass panel, and slowly started to slide it upwards. Prussia ducked even further into the shrubbery. If Austria saw him, all was lost.

Window finally open, Austria leaned out of it. He let the cool autumnal breeze tickle his cheeks. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of nature. It smelt of peace and joy. Austria vowed to himself that one day, he would feel nothing but peace and joy.

He had made a mistake, and now had to live the rest of his life by it.

He felt one word escape from his lips. It shocked him that he'd said it. He'd been thinking it, but saying it...anyone could have heard.

Prussia looked up. He had been sure Austria had...be he couldn't of...The idea itself was absurd.

The landlocked nation sighed. If anyone had been listening, if anyone had heard, then it was over. The secret he'd kept buried deeper than any, the secret he'd worked so hard to protect, the truth he'd tried so hard to deny, would be discovered.

He would be discovered.

He shut he eyes and let his head sag down. It was too late. If anyone had heard him, then he had already been discovered as a fraud and a fool.

Why not embarrass himself a little more?

There didn't appear to be anyone around. He didn't see what harm could be done.

He sighed into a smile, and looked up towards the sun. It's light filled him with confidence, optimism and hope, and suddenly he couldn't contain these feelings any more. It was almost as though they were about to burst from him.

"I miss you," he said simply, continuing to gaze skywards.

Prussia merely stared at him in bewilderment. Did that mean...?

"I miss the way you used to tease me about everything, especially how 'unawesome' I was," Austria carried on.

There was now no doubt in Prussia mind. He finally understood.

"I miss the way you used to come up with a different nickname for me every day of the week." He started to blush. "My favourites were definitely 'specs' and 'priss'. " He closed his eyes, and paused. "I miss the way you literally lit up a room just by walking in. I think the others were scared of you, because of your strength, and your appearance, but I don't think I ever was. I think your appearance matched your personality perfectly."

Prussia nodded in agreement. He looked the way he did everything else; awesome.

Austria looked down, took a deep breath and continued. "I made a mistake. I've regretted it every moment since. When I wake, it's my first thought. It sits patiently in the back of my mind until I close my eyes, and it claims me." He laughed sadly, "Even in sleep, I cannot escape you. You haunt my every waking moment, you dictate my world of dreams.

"My mistake, Prussia, is that I let you go."

The former country could hardly believe his ears.

"I shouldn't have. You were once a powerful nation, rich and beautiful. I suppose I always slightly resented you for that." Austria felt his grip on the windowsill tighten. These were his darkest secrets, truths he himself preferred to think were lies. " I led you to believe I hated you. I assumed you hated me." He shook his head. "If you didn't hate me, you did a remarkable job of pretending to.

"I should've told you...something! I should've let you know that I...that I didn't hate you. When you fell, I should've helped you! You, one of the greatest nations in the world, are now just a memory, a country young people debate the existence of. You've become no more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self, and I feel responsible for it. I should've helped.

"I doubt anything I did could've made a difference, but at least I'd be free of this constant guilt.

"But a mistake was made. It will never be undone. I will regret it until my dying day. Just as I will regret never telling you that I...that I loved you."

Austria head sunk. He closed his eyes in an attempt to prevent tears that lurked there from escaping. This attempt failed. He felt them run down his cheeks, causing his glasses to fog up. He tried as hard as he could to stifle his sobs, but they also escaped him. However, though they should have been strong enough to cause his shoulders to shake, they were soft sobs.

He knew it was ungentlemanly, but for once, he didn't care. He merely stood, leaning against the window, crying.

Prussia longed to jump up from his place in the bushes and comfort Austria, but he didn't for fear of scaring him, and angering him. He didn't avoid leaping up because he was crying too. He was far too awesome to cry. He wasn't crying; his awesomeness was just leaking through his eyes. And maybe his nose.

Or maybe, just maybe, Austria's words had melted his heart, and his heart, now in liquid form, was escaping through his eyes.

Austria just continued to cry, oblivious of Prussia's presence.. He heard someone call his name, and quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I'll be there in a second!" he called over his shoulder. He sighed, breathed in deeply, then breathed out, just as deeply. He closed his eyes, and relinquished his grip on the window. For the first time in years, he felt innocent.

Prussia watched Austria slowly reach up to the window, and begin to slide it down. He wanted to jump up, to tell Austria he felt the same way, to explain everything to him. He wanted to hold Austria in his arms and never let go. He wanted to love Austria with every inch of his awesome self and have Austria return the feeling. He wanted...he didn't want anything. It was so much more than a want. It was a longing. A need. He needed Austria to love him, and Austria to know he was loved. He knew that he needed it. He knew that he needed Austria more than he needed air.

And yet, he did nothing.

He watched Austria close the window. He didn't intervene. He didn't call out to him.

He just watched.

Austria turned away from the window, drew the curtains, and left the room. Hungary was still calling for him. He shook his head, mildly annoyed with her impatience.

Prussia froze. He couldn't move. He couldn't do anything.

All he could do was cry.

No, he wasn't crying. He was far too awesome to cry.

Actually, fuck it! He was crying, and he knew it.

He had made a mistake. A terrible mistake.

And he knew he'd regret it for the rest of his life.


End file.
